Proof of Hatemail I received on Myspace

This stupidity has to stop. These people who are sending this crap on behalf of the village idiot Brooksie need to get a life and go away!!! What follows is an email I recieved last night on myspace. Her claims of innocence seem to be full of insincerity too, just like all the other lies she tells.

My first love...................a photo blog

I grew up in a car loving family. My parents were both Mopar lovers, when I was born they had a 1968 Chrysler Newport with a 383, and a 1964 Plymouth Valiant with the pushbutton automatic. As far as I can remember, I was fascinated by cars, especially the Mopar classics of the late sixties and early seventies. I love to go to car shows now, and want a 1966 Dodge Hemi Charger one day when I make my first million. So, in memory of all the days I spent looking at car magazines of my dad and brother as a kid, here are some examples of these awesome cars from an era that will never be forgotten.

My dream car, a 1966 Dodge Hemi Charger with the 426 ci V8 with dual 4 barrell carbs and a 4 spd tranny:



Next up are the Plymouth Roadrunners circa 1969-1970. Some of these were Hemis, but a lot had the 440 ci 6pack which had three 2 barrell carbs, or the 383 ci Super Commando engines:





The Dodge Superbees had the same engine choices, but had a sharper bodystyle.







Plymouth and Dodge made some cars specifically for NASCAR back in 1969 and 1970, these had aerodynamic noses and tall wings in the back to keep them on the ground at high speeds. They were the Plymouth Superbird and the Dodge Daytona, and are huge collectors items today. One that Cotton Owens owned from 1970 and won several races with sold on Ebay last year for in excess of a million bucks.





And that brings us to the Plymouth Barracuda. These cars are among the most valuable Mopars, especially with the 440 6pack or the Hemi. The bottom picture is of a Hemi Cuda convertible that sold for 2 million at the Barrett-Jackson auction earlier this year:









I love the way this 1969 Hemi Charger looks too:

But, most of the above cars are cost prohibitive to me and most others. Chrysler has brought the Hemi back, and I have my eye on three of their offerings that can be bought for a reasonable sum. I feel these cars will be collector's items one day down the road. if I buy one I will keep it forever.

Perhaps a Hemi Dodge Charger:



Maybe a Chrysler 300C Hemi:



But a family guy like me will probably be best served getting a Dodge Hemi Magnum wagon, but I'll take mine with the Lamborghini doors just like on Pimp My Ride:



By the way, my kids all love cars too. Maybe one of them will take on the family tradition of being a car nut....... Happy Sunday!!

Shenannigans

My friends and I had a few fun games we liked to play in high school, one of them was Green Goblin. For those of you that are unfamiliar with this game, allow me to explain it to you. In urban and suburban areas, trash days are typically the same day every week. That means that the night before trash day, most people on a given strret or subdivision have all rolled their trash cans out to the curb for pickup. These cans typically look like this:



hence the name Green Goblin. The object of this game is to drive along late at night in somebody's family station wagon, which at my rural high school was the Caprice Estate Wagon, circa 1985.



We would park next to one of the green trash cans, and would have the first contestant grab the handles of the rolling green goblins. The object of this game was to see how far a given person could hold onto the trash can, and at what rate of speed would losing the can occur. The winner was typically the person who was able to keep their green goblin upright and rolling the longest and at the fastest speed. Even better was the getaway driver, who typically knew the neighborhood well for a fast and efficient escape. Nothing worse than the thought of getting lost in a subdivision, especially once the local constabulary had been contacted regarding our shenannigans ( I LOVE THAT WORD!!), and dispatched from their favorite doughnut shop to come investigate.





Next up on the list of fun things to do in a car was mailbox baseball. This game could be wildly entertaining, but could also be very dangerous. The danger came from mailbox owners lying in wait in their driveways with a shotgun:



as we drove by, one guy (or girl) hanging out of the rear window swinging for the fences. Another danger was when a homeowner would reinforce their mailbox with a steel rod inside, giving the home run hitter a nasty surprise from the recoil of their swing.





Last but not least on our exciting list of late night fun is a game we called Garage Door Hell. In the mid 1980's, garage door openers were on a lot fewer freqeuncies thereby having less openers opening more doors. We would roll through a nice upper middle class neighborhood in our trusty Estate Wagon:





and would have approximately 10 "clickers", pressing the buttons constantly as we drove.



Imagine the surprise of Peter and Nancy Homemaker as their garage door started rolling up at 2am. I can only imagine the stress and heartache we caused in those households, and how many teenagers got blamed for coming home later than curfew, haha. Around 80% of the doors would open using this method, so we could have quite a bit of fun on a given night.

I look back on all of this now, and wonder yet again how I managed to survive my teenage years. We really did some crazy things back then, and as I remember them now I wonder just exactly WHAT THE HELL WERE WE THINKING?

Texas Summers

Although I have lived here in West Tennessee most of my life, I am a Texas native by birth. I was born in the most Texan city of them all, Texas City. and spent most summers down there in Shoreacres (LaPorte) until I was 15 or so. My mom and I would go stay with some close friends of the family, Ward and Rachel, and I would spend my summers playing with friends in the neighborhood. Most mornings, I would walk down the street a bit to the public pier for the subdivision and set out my crab lines. I would then fish off the pier too with my nifty new Zebco rod and reel, I was so proud of that rig. I would bait my hook with chicken livers, and cast out and see how well I would do. One day the fun really began.......





I had a big cooler that I would put the crabs and fish in to take home to cook. There is no better smell in a kitchen than shrimp and crab boil, and that is a fact. One day I put chicken livers on my crab lines, and cast out my line from my rod and reel. I almost immediately had a bite, and reeled it in. As the "fish" came out of the water, I was surprised to see a crab hanging off of my line. I got him on the pier, and dropped him in the cooler. I kept doing this for several hours, and with my trusty old Zebco I caught 14 crabs and 4 fish that day, along with 12 crabs from my lines that were set out. I took my catch home, and we had a good crab feast that night for sure!!



There was a group of five or six boys I hung out with in the neighborhood. One fun thing that we did was try to sneak into the Houston Yacht Club that was adjacent to the subdivision. There really wasn't much to do over there, but we were 12-14 years old and had nothing better to do back then. One of the guys we hung out with had a habit of dressing in drag to sneak in. I still to this day can't figure out what the hell Jerry was thinking, but I can't question his journey to fun, huh? Everybody does silly stuff in their lives. One night we got in and finally a club employee figured out that we did not belong. They called the police on us, and the cops arrived to take us to our houses. Jerry managed to escape, and stayed at the bar at the club and apparently had a few drinks bought for him by the drunk old-timers. We told his dad where he was, and off he went to go collect him. We never let him live that one down either.

yacht marina

Another time, we were taking turns playing Houdini and escaping from being tied up with a phone cord. My wonderful friends tied me upside down on a low tree limb and left me there to my own methods of escape. I guess they got busy playing Atari or something because they left my ass out there for about two hours. I worked myself up on top of the limb by the time they came out. They untied me and then ran like hell because my Irish temper was unchecked back then, and I was ready to kill somebody after two hours of that. They neglected to ever do that again because I caught up with the kid wearing Huskies and beat the shit out of him. Maybe those two hours on that tree limb taught me the infinite patience I have now, huh?



Some days we would load up all the kids in my mom's 1973 Thunderbird or my Aunt Judy's 1975 Dodge MaxiVan:






, and we would head out to go to the beach in Galveston. We would set up our chairs and blankets, and then we would take off for the water. I spent many summer days on the beach there on the Gulf of Mexico, and there are many awesome memories. One Saturday, however, the good memories had a bad one join them. That was the day I got stung by a jellyfish twice on the back of my leg. You don't know pain of getting stung by something until a jellyfish lights you up. I will never forget that feeling for as long as I live. To this day I avoid jellyfish at all cost when we go to the beach, I just can't shake my fear of them.





What are some memories of how ya'll spent your summers?

Grocery Store Rules

After being back out working in grocery stores for a cookie company over the past few months, there is something that is really eating away at me and I want to take a moment to share some tips with you regarding grocery store shopping etiquette. Yes,my friends, I want to do my part to help educate the shopping public on some do's and don'ts while you are shopping somewhere like here:



or maybe here ( which is my friend We Are Not A Muse's favorite place to shop):



Or perhaps here:




While you are pushing your shopping cart around the store, ou might encounter a person stocking the shelves with some delicious cookies like:



or on the same aisle they might be building a display of:



Don't ask either of these people their opinion on the difference between the name brand or generic of the Frosted Mini Wheats, which are typically on the same aisle or close by. These guys don't know, nor do they care about your indecision regarding a cereal purchase.

On to the bread aisle, if you see somebody struggling with bread racks full of this:



or this:



please whatever you do, don't start bitching at them about how fresh the Kroger bread is or if you got a bag of Piggly Wiggly hamburger buns that had a little mold on them. Toddle your ass up to customer service and discuss your problem with them. The bread guys typically own their own bread routes, and time really is money to them. The five minutes he wastes dealing with your drivel might just cost him getting to another stop on his route before his deadline to get checked in.

On the chip aisle, if you see a guy filling up a display of Frito Lay product like this:



Don't start bitching at him about the Pringles flavor you love being out of stock or how the Kroger brand tortilla chips you bought were stale. This person drives a huge route truck that says FRITO LAY on it, and he could care less about your problem about merchandise he has no control over. Head up to customer service and ask them, or flag the store manager if his lazy ass isn't sitting in his office looking at porn on the internet.

Over on the freezer aisle, you might encounter a guy stocking frozen pizzas like this:



or a lady might be putting some ice cream in the freezer case made by:



For the love of God, please don't ask them why the frozen mixed vegetables don't come in a bigger bag or that the Sister Schubert rolls are out of stock again. These people are in that grocery store for one purpose, and that is to put their product on the shelf and move on to the next stop on their route.

Then on the refrigerated aisle, you might see a guy stocking the name brand milk like this:



whom has been out since 4am driving a truck like this:



Don't ask him about the high prices of milk and cheese attributed to the rising fuel costs. This person has no control over the store level pricing, and is a busy guy with up to 50 stops every day on his route. He just doesn't have time for the bullshit, I promise.

Over at the beer case, never ask the guy stocking this:



about the Kosher cheeses and meats available for Passover, or about the sale that Budweiser has going on this week. He does not know, does not want to know, nor does he really care about your non-Coors related questions. Ask a STORE employee to assist you, they will be able to answer your questions.

And last but not least, if a guy in a blue uniform shirt is building a footbal display with:



please don't come up to him asking about the dog food that is not on the shelf, nor bemoaning the fact that there are not enough registers open. He does not really care, no matter how much you want him to.

None of these guys can help you with the placement of the spices, the laundry detergent, the Pop Tarts, nor the Olive oil. Ask a store employee for help, they get paid to do just that.


It is perfectly acceptable,however,to ask any of the above about the product they actually sell. You can also ask them where the bathroom is,they probably can tell you the answer to that question. And another thing, those shopping carts really hurt when you run over somebody's ankle or foot with your cart. I have scars on both ankles where the skin was gouged out by some dumb ass struggling with the basket, their three screaming kids, and their all important cellphone conversation about who Buffy is sleeping with or when the tee time is. You might catch one of these people on a bad day and you will perhaps get treated with a bad attitude.

I hope this has been a helpful tutorial in grocery store etiquette,and that you all enjoyed your weekend.